As a private music teacher who has taught all personality types, the perfectionist is by far the most challenging. I would rather teach someone who is carefree and doesn’t mind making mistakes over a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist can push humans to do their very best, so it’s not always a bad attribute if the perfectionist realizes they must try repeatedly to achieve their goal.
It can be a struggle for them to learn anything new for fear of imperfection. Avoiding learning new concepts can lead to bad grades and low achievement, which only fuels their low self-esteem.
1. Don’t let them control the lesson.
When I discovered my student was crying to stop me from teaching her, I told her that crying was unacceptable and the lesson would end when she cried. As the teacher, I took control of the lesson and didn’t allow her to cry or act out. That was a game-changer in the progress of the lessons.
2. Celebrate their mistakes.
Your perfectionist student will probably laugh when you say mistakes can work out to their advantage. I heard a saying that success isn’t built on success; it’s built on failure. Every person who invented or created something new had more failures than successes. The trick is not to quit but to continue through the failures until success is achieved.
3. Teach in small steps with repetition.
Since perfectionists hate to make mistakes, teach them new concepts in small steps and have them repeat it until mastered. The more they succeed in the small steps, giving the feeling of perfection, the higher their self-esteem and motivation to learn. This format also helps perfectionists conquer new concepts in all aspects of their lives.
4. Choose the correct curriculum.
It’s important to choose the curriculum for each perfectionist student that teaches in small steps and doesn’t overwhelm them. My piano series, “Drill & Excel On the Piano,” books 1-4 for beginners to early advanced students, teaches precisely in that way. Even my perfectionist students can learn without being frustrated.
5. Perfectionism is way overrated.
The older I get, the more being perfect is less the goal. It’s the simple imperfections in life that mean the most, and that includes music. Of course, we all have some perfectionism, not wanting to make mistakes, but if we were always perfect, we’d be little robots. And what a boring world we would live in!